DATING GUIDELINES “10 STEPS”

Please review the following guidelines; intended for Couples, prior to Marriage, to significantly reduce the temptation for Sexual Immorality. Although these are not fail-safe, they are steps to significantly reduce temptation.  Remember these are in fact; guidelines. Does this mean we are perfect in All these TEN guidelines? NO, we are not. Does it mean that we are better at some guidelines and some we still have challenges with? YES, of course.  With these guidelines, that we are sharing; We believe they are the most effective manner to incorporate strategies to keep temptation at a minimum. For you as a couple, some guidelines my require more attention, others not as much. With that said please use the guidelines as an outline to evaluate your weak areas and to institute some of these ideas into your relationship. This list includes the BIBLICAL scriptures that we base each guideline upon, and a brief practical way that we apply the scripture, additionally you will find a deeper description of each guideline and more practical ideas in the Guideline Commentary. We are interested in your unique ways to reduce temptation in your relationship, Please let us know by placing a POST to these Guidelines.  And as always, please forward us any questions; for any reason. Now, before we get started please read these Scriptures as an encouragement to set-up some guidelines for your relationship.

Ephesians 5:3

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Hebrews 12:4 (New International Version) In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

1. Whenever going on a trip, that requires over-night lodging; we carefully plan separate accommodations. This helps us to keep our distance, especially during late hours. Be careful when stopping along the way or when you get too tired. Avoid the temptation to say, “It will be okay if we take a small nap here before we get there.” Taking another couple is a great idea when a long trip is planned.

James 1:14-15 – “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.”

1 Corinthians 6:12 – “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful.”

2.   We have not found a good reason for Sleepovers. If the weather looks bad, stay home and talk on the phone. Pre-planning by watching the weather can save the need for the excuse not to leave.

1 Corinthians 10:12 – “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”

1 Thessalonians 5:22 – “Abstain from all appearance of evil.”

3.  Physical contact such as holding hands, hugging, tickling, fondling or massaging tends to lead to more physical contact. How about a genuine hand-shake or a “HIGH FIVE” instead?

1 Corinthians 7:1 – “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 5 – “To everything there is a season. A time to embrace (MARRIAGE) and a time to refrain from embracing (NOT MARRIED).”

4.   Save the KISSING for “You may Kiss The Bride”; otherwise, why would the pastor say it at the altar?

1 Corinthians 9:27 – “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection.”

Song of Solomon 2:7 – “Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.”

5.  Careful of excessive compliments, googly eyes, innuendos or implied actions. Instead of      saying,  ”OOH, you look sooo nice today,” every five minutes, or saying, “I can’t believe how beautiful you are,” every other word, try to be deeper with the compliments. Let them be words of AFFIRMATION. For example, you could say, “I thank God for how encouraging you are to me because of your deep love for God and your dedication to following His Word.”

Proverbs 7:21 – “With enticing speech, one yields. With flattering lips, one is seduced.”

1 Peter 2:11-12 – “Abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable.”

6.    Avoid going into each others house, ALONE. Instead, go to public places or plan group activities. Keep the activity God-focused. Have a start time, stop time, detailed agenda, and always have a back-up plan if you get done before stop time, if the weather changes, or original plans are canceled. For meals, prepare a picnic. There are plenty of indoor food courts for inclement weather (i.e. the malls, Wegmans, etc…).

Romans 13:13-14 – “Let us walk properly and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

Romans 6:12 – “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.”

7.    End the date at a decent hour, even if it’s in a public place, which it should be anyway. If there are incidents requiring house visits, such as Bible study, a meal, or a work project then SET up a CHAPERONE; otherwise wait until one is available. Suggested curfew times are 8:30pm on weeknights and 10:00pm on weekends. Do not go into the others house when dropping them off at the end of the evening but rather give a hand-shake or a “HIGH FIVE” at the Door.

Song of Solomon 2:15 – “Catch us the little foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes.”

Ephesians 4:27 – “Give no place to the devil.”

8.    Stay away from controversial places such as bars, worldly concerts, rated “R” movies, etc. There is a succinct difference to being in the world and being of the world, we only fool ourselves.

Romans 12:2 – “Do not be conformed to this world.”

Romans 8:12-13 – “Therefore, we are debtors – not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die.”

9.    Regulate time spent together to ensure one-on-one time is spent with the Lord. So, no long phone conversations, especially late at night. Ensure prayer is instituted at the beginning of your time together, through-out, & at the end.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 – “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Matthew 6:33 – “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.”

10.   Do not wear revealing clothing. Dress modestly as if you were meeting Jesus Christ tonight, because you just might.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 – “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor.”

1 Timothy 2:9 – “That the women adorn themselves in modest apparel.”